This is Nota's review of "Buy Yourself the Damn Flowers" by Tam Kaur
This is a simple book on a subject I need to drill into my head. The way the author put some of her experiences, and recontextualized it was very relatable, and helpful because I am also a very obsessive personality when it comes to romantic relationships. Like probably most people as I see most of them have settled for something.
This book puts you back to the centre of your life, and explains how it’s the only reasonable thing you could do. If you don’t show up for yourself other people also have no reason to do so. In a bad headspace where you assign a painful meaning to your painful experiences you align with more painful experiences.
I got so unbelievably happy with some of my connections, but really I should be feeling that way about myself, and what I can do for myself. It makes no sense to pour into a black hole and if I do - a vegan eco solarpunk utopia is definitely not on my radar, just saying.
This book is about completely shifting your narrative, and making all the times you failed into victories, lessons for every action you do speaks volumes on what you actually want to pursue. It also reshifts it with interactions online, and how all these people don’t view anything from your eyes so every advice comes from a very limited understanding of your life. As I was reading this book I got a lot of negative comments on my selfies, and content, but I am starting to care less, and less. The insecurities of these people are becoming very visible to me, and really who are you if you focus your time not on creating, but demolishing content that’s not even made with you in mind?
I really liked the angle of this book, and I am now thinking that the most narcissistic thing one can do is care what other people think. Every action which brings harm onto another person is not an act of self-love, and puts the power in other people’s hands. To want to harm someone you have to care about them or what they represent or have some sort of unresolved inner issue which is completely unrelated to the situation.
I love me, it is okay. I will take myself on dates, and love reading books. This gave me some solo date ideas. Another really good advice that stuck with me was managing my social media feed, I will never see all those “narcissism traits”, and “things narcissists say” posts again. Thank God. I was very sick of my feed, and I just did not want to curate it for some reason. But I will curate all my social media, I need it to at least attempt to cheer me up, I already learn, and educate myself from books.
Yay, what a great investment. Thank you for reading, and I hope you invest in yourself more too.
#selfhelp #selfdevelopment #selfworth #selflove #solodate #journaling #meditation #habits #journey